


Wouldn't Change a Single Thing

by lovedream



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Fluff, Hand Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:33:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29324025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovedream/pseuds/lovedream
Summary: Mark can't sleep. He visits Yuta, hoping he'll be able to help. Yuta tells Mark he'll do anything, and asks how he can help. Mark has some ideas.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 18
Kudos: 200





	Wouldn't Change a Single Thing

Mark’s been going to Yuta’s room a lot lately. Sometimes they chat. Other times they’ll just listen to music and each do their own thing – read, write, watch videos on their phones. Sometimes Mark brings his guitar. Yuta always asks him to play Rainy Blue, and Mark always does. He’s practically memorized it by now.

This time, Mark comes in in the middle of the night. In his pajamas, he looks soft. Young and unassuming. He sits on the floor by Yuta’s bed. 

“I can’t sleep,” he murmurs.

“Why? Did you have coffee or something?” Yuta mumbles. He’s not fully awake, and the words are almost indecipherable. 

“No. I just…” Mark sighs. The air is tense around them.

Realizing there’s something wrong, Yuta sits up and turns on his bedside lamp. He blinks several times trying to adjust to the yellow light. “Come here, Mark.” 

Mark climbs into the bed and looks down at his fingers. As he works up the nerve to speak, he plays with the hem of the blanket. “I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking about work. I can’t turn my brain off.”

Yuta frowns. It’s a common problem they all have; the periods of intense work and no sleep followed by rest periods make for an impossible sleep cycle. Still, Yuta had hoped this particular ailment would have spared Mark. Sadly, Yuta realizes that was a silly thing to have hoped for. Mark wasn’t immune to the problems they all experienced just because he didn’t deserve them. 

Yuta wonders what he can do for Mark. He knows better than to suggest yoga or meditation or scented oils right now. He knows that Mark has probably tried everything if he’s resorted to visiting Yuta’s bedroom at this odd hour.

“I can’t stop thinking about performances where I messed up. I can’t stop stressing about the fact that I haven’t finished any of my lyrics for the songs on the next album. I don’t know when I can see my family again, either, and that stresses me out, too.”

By now Yuta has laced his fingers through Mark’s, and he strokes the back of his hand with his thumb. Normally, this is the kind of gesture Mark is hesitant to accept. But somehow, this time, there’s no tension in Mark’s hand. 

“What do you think you need, Mark?”

“I need to stop thinking. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“And? How can I help with that?” Yuta asks. Slowly, he turns his head so that his forehead is resting against Mark’s shoulder. “I’ll do anything to help, you know that.” Yuta whispers it. He means it with all his heart.

Mark audibly gulps. “It’s…I just…I always feel better when I’m with you. That’s why I come here so much. You never, ever ask me about work. The other guys, sometimes that’s all they want to talk about. Not always, but recently, I just can’t deal with it. It’s so much pressure. I just want to _be_. And you let me.” He clutches Yuta’s hand tighter. Mark’s palm is sweaty. 

“I don’t need to talk about those things with you, Mark. I’m the same, I can’t think about it twenty-four seven. I like to think I have a life outside of work, and I like that you’re a part of it.”

Mark smiles at that. He adjusts himself so that he can fit his head on Yuta’s shoulder, in the crook of his neck. It’s silent. In this moment, he can feel the warmth of Yuta’s neck, his hands. Yuta’s hair, so long these days, tickles the side of his face. He can smell Yuta’s shampoo – strawberry. He breathes it in. 

“There’s something I think could help,” he whispers, before he can stop himself. His voice is so small. 

Yuta waits. Mark lets almost a minute pass before he rights himself. Yuta looks straight at him and it makes Mark look away, blushing, heart pounding. 

“Hey,” Yuta whispers. He grips Mark’s chin in his hand and turns his head so he can look into Mark’s eyes. Mark takes in the sight before him. Yuta, backlit by the beside lamp in a yellow haze. Soft brown hair framing his face. His clavicles visible behind the low-cut shirt. His bare arms, that have wrapped around Mark’s body countless times, providing comfort.

Before his brain can catch up with his body, Mark leans forward, eyes fixed on Yuta’s lips. He can feel the cool, minty breath fanning onto his face. Mark’s eyes flicker up once, then back down to Yuta’s mouth. He starts to move, to close that last bit of space between them, but Yuta is the one who surges forward and presses their lips together.

The first kiss is neither soft nor ravenous. It falls somewhere in between. Mark’s lips tremble. He’s hesitant, but he clearly wants this. 

“Yuta, I—” 

“Shh,” Yuta murmurs. “Kiss me again.”

Mark pauses, his eyes flickering down to Yuta’s lips again. “Okay,” he whispers. He moves in again, with more sure movements this time. His fingers wrap around the back of Yuta’s neck, and Yuta sighs against Mark’s mouth.

At first, it’s just a warm press of their lips against each others’. Yuta pulls Mark closer. When Mark’s mouth opens, Yuta darts his tongue into it. Then he sucks Mark’s lower lip between his own and Mark’s entire body responds, as if Yuta’s embrace were a mold that Mark could pour himself into it. 

“That’s it,” Yuta hums.

Mark whimpers. He does his best to kiss back, but his mouth grows increasingly slack. Apparently, he’s content to just let Yuta take what he wants. And Yuta wants so much. So he takes. 

Yuta kisses more insistently. The intensity catches Mark off guard. He gradually lies down, and Yuta follows him easily. He cages Mark underneath him. It feels like the whole world has narrowed down to this tiny space. Nothing exists outside the heat of their bodies and the sounds of their lips meeting, parting, and meeting again.

Eventually, Mark regains some of his senses. His limbs slowly regain strength. He wraps his legs around Yuta’s waist, his arms around his neck. Their bodies weave together like threads on a loom. They’re pulled taut, and the pressure where they press together has Mark making noises that Yuta’s never heard him make. A moan when Yuta’s hips roll against his, a whimper when Yuta takes the flesh of Mark’s neck between his teeth, a sob when Yuta’s hand brushes a nipple. 

“W-want,” Mark gasps. He’s having trouble speaking. Yuta likes it.

“Yes? What do you want? Tell me.”

“Want to touch you.” Mark says, his voice high.

“Do it, then,” Yuta replies with no hesitation. Mark seems startled by that, as if he thought Yuta would refuse him. Yuta would never refuse him.

Mark’s shaking hand reaches down in between their bodies. He finds the fabric of Yuta’s pajamas straining over the thing he’s looking for. The second his fingers touch it, Yuta’s hips jerk. 

Mark’s not looking at what he’s doing. He’s too busy kissing Yuta’s lips. His jaw. His neck. Yuta is lost in the pleasure. It doesn’t matter that Mark’s movements aren’t smooth, that his technique isn’t perfect. It’s not about that. The fact that this is happening at all, that sweet Mark Lee has his perfect hand on Yuta’s cock is what matters. 

“ _Fuck_.” Yuta’s voice trembles like a leaf in cold wind. “You have no idea…I’ve wanted this so bad, Mark.”

Mark hums into Yuta’s mouth as he twists his palm over the head of Yuta’s cock. “Why didn’t you say so?” he murmurs.

“Was scared.” Yuta gulps. He didn’t think he would ever admit that. He wonders if Mark even believes him. It’s the truth, though. 

“You?” Mark asks. He pulls back and smiles with one side of his mouth. His eyebrows raise. Yuta adores that face. “You were scared? You’re never scared.”

Yuta scoffs. Then Mark actually _pinches_ his foreskin and Yuta’s eyes roll back in his head. He tries his best to remember what he wants to say in response to Mark’s comment, but he can barely remember his own name right now.

“You’re always so sure of yourself,” Mark muses. He’s looking at Yuta with an expression that’s hard to read. It’s an unusual phenomenon; he’s usually such an open book. “I’ve actually always envied that. Wish I could just…” Mark trails off. He bites his lip. “Wish I could tell people how I feel the way you do.”

Yuta is groaning at this point. The contrast between the sentimental nature of their conversation and Mark’s rough handling of Yuta’s balls is breaking Yuta’s mind. His tongue feels like it’s made of sand. “I—” Yuta gasps, tries his best to form words. “I haven’t told you how I feel. Not really.”

Mark looks at him quizzically. His hand slows, though it does not stop. It allows Yuta the ability to draw breath. “What do you mean, hyung?”

Yuta struggles to pull together the words in the right sequence. Sometimes he wishes he spoke English for no reason other than it’s Mark’s first language—the one he feels most comfortable writing lyrics in, and therefore, the one he can express himself best in. They have Korean, but right now Yuta’s brain is too focused on the image of Mark’s pretty lips, red from his kisses, to formulate words in a second language. He tries anyways.

“I’ve told you I like you, that you’re adorable, and that I find you lovely. I’ve told you that I have to have you in my life. But that’s only ever been in front of cameras. In front of our bandmates, and in front of strangers. I’ve never told you those things in private.”

Mark’s hand finds a rhythm again. He’s so single-minded in his effort to get Yuta to orgasm that not even an impending confession can slow him down. It’s so _Mark_. So like him to finish what he started, no matter what else is happening. Yuta adores this part of him, along with all the other parts he’s learned in their years together. 

“I like you, Mark Lee.”

Mark strokes Yuta’s cock twice, three more times, with his thumb digging into the slit at the crest of each stroke. He leans in again, kisses Yuta with all the strength he has left in his slight body. Against his lips, he murmurs.

“I like you, too.”

Yuta comes. He comes so hard that his mouth opens in a gasp, and Mark dives in with his tongue He licks with fervor, but it’s tender. At the same time, his hand eases Yuta through the aftershocks of his orgasm, pumping him, milking him for every last drop. It’s slick down there, sticky. Mark doesn’t seem to mind, because he’s smiling against Yuta’s mouth. Yuta can feel it. He smiles back. When his cock finally stops releasing, Mark pulls back, and they exchange glances that are filled with arousal and adoration. It’s such a goddamn cliché, but Yuta feels like he’s reached heaven. 

“Mark?”

“Yeah?” 

“I mean it. I like you.”

It’s terrifying saying it in private. Where there’s no one to tease, no one to catch Mark’s blush on camera. There’s only them and this space they’ve created for each other, with each other. 

“Me, too,” Mark whispers. 

He cleans up his hand with the towel Yuta had left on the foot of the bed. Yuta wipes himself down with tissues. Mark throws them away. Then he crawls back under the covers and presses himself to Yuta’s side. Yuta kisses him again. And again and again. He won’t stop, not now that he’s finally allowed to do this.

“Hey,” Yuta murmurs. “Want me to return the favor?”

Mark giggles. Yuta knows why. It’s because it’s so like them to mix confessions with sex stuff in a single conversation. Because Mark is glad that won’t change. Yuta is, too. He doesn’t think he could handle long, mushy soliloquies.

“N-no, it’s okay. I’m, uh, I’m not hard.”

Yuta raises an eyebrow, like he’s doubtful, or offended, or both.

“Hyung,” Mark whines. “It’s not like that. Trust me, that was hot. It’s just…I’m sleepy now. I can’t get really get hard when I’m this sleepy.”

 _God, he’s so cute,_ Yuta thinks to himself. “Is that so? Well, I guess that’s a good thing then, huh? Maybe you’ll be able to get a good night’s sleep tonight.” He snuggles close to Mark and makes sure the blankets are wrapped tightly around them. He plays footsie with Mark under the covers, running his toe along Mark’s ankle.

Mark smiles, his eyes now closed, and burrows into Yuta’s neck. He hums a song he’s had on repeat the past few days, a melodic RnB number. It’s so pretty in Mark’s voice. Yuta offhandedly wishes Mark had sung every song in the world. As he thinks that, and thinks about how ridiculous that wish is, sleep pulls at him. He fights it for a moment, because he has a far-off sense of fear that this will be gone in the morning, whatever it is.

Then Mark starts snoring softly into his neck, his breath tickling the sensitive skin there. There’s no fighting the way that calms him. He closes his eyes and listens to Mark’s noises, and sleep pulls him under.

-

In the morning, Yuta comes to gradually. His body feels more relaxed than it has in a long time. And even more surprising than that, his mind feels peaceful too. 

Slowly, he remembers. He remembers last night, Mark had come to his room. They had exchanged kisses, Mark had put his hand on Yuta’s cock, and Yuta had told him…

Yuta gasps and sits up in bed. His movements cause someone next to him to groan. 

Mark is still in his bed.

Yuta swallows, nervous. “Mark?” he whispers. It’s lost in the air. He’s scared again. He doesn’t think he can handle this. He doesn’t like uncertainty. That’s why he’d never told Mark seriously how he felt. Last night…last night his guard had been down. And Mark had needed him. And it all felt so good, so right. He’d messed up.

“Mark?” Yuta asks again. He’s more insistent this time. 

“ _Oppa_ ,” Mark whines. “Five more minutes.”

Yuta blinks once. He scoffs, incredulous. Then he’s laughing, joyous, like he hasn’t in a long time. 

“ _Yah_. What are you saying?”

With his eyes still closed, Mark smiles. “I’m saying get back here.”

Yuta can’t stop laughing. It’s quiet laughter, but it cuts through any tension all the same. Everything’s okay. Everything’s going to _be_ okay. Yuta doesn’t need to be scared.

He lays back down. Mark wraps around him. Yuta stiffens when he feels Mark’s morning erection pressing against his side. It’s big, hot, hard. Yuta gulps audibly. He turns to Mark. His eyes are open now, and they are dark with desire. Mark kisses him softly, and his lips are sweet and smooth like a chocolate confection. 

“Hyung,” Mark says. He looks at Yuta expectantly. Yuta realizes with a start that Mark is expecting him to lead him. Yuta feels out of his depth. But Mark is so giving, and Yuta wants so much, still. So he will take again. 

Wordlessly, Yuta gets up. He feels Mark’s heavy gaze on him as he positions himself at the foot of the bed. He moves the blankets out of his way, and Mark shivers as the cool air of the room hits him. Yuta sympathizes, but he knows he’ll be warming him up soon enough. Yuta locks eyes with Mark and sees him waiting with bated breath. He decides not to keep Mark waiting a minute longer.

He takes off Mark’s pajamas gently. Mark assists him with a lift of his hips that turns into a graceful undulation as he settles back down. It’s unfair how everything he does looks so beautiful. Yuta wants him so bad.

Yuta leans down. He comes face to face with Mark’s erection, covered only by an old, threadbare pair of briefs. 

Once more, he looks up at Mark. “Let me know if you need me to stop,” Yuta says. He won’t be saying anything again until it’s over. He doesn’t need to. They said all they needed to last night. Right now, he wants to give Mark pleasure that he’ll remember for the rest of his life. He wants to show Mark how insane he makes Yuta feel.

In the blink of eye Yuta has Mark out of his underwear. He settles on his stomach between Mark’s legs and pulls the blanket on top of his back so that at least Mark’s legs won’t be cold. He still has his shirt and hoodie on, too. Now there’s just the matter of his cock.

Yuta takes it in with his eyes for a moment. He’s seen it before, so he knew it was big. But he’s never been eye level with it before. Never let himself look for as long as he wants. It’s unfair that Mark is pretty here, too. Long but not too thick, pink, cut, with subtle veins on the side and under. He’s hard as a rock now, and Yuta hasn’t even touched him. But he’s going to.

He doesn’t delay any longer. He takes the base in his hand so he can put his mouth on the head, but Mark is already gasping. He’s so turned on.

“Wanted this,” he’s babbling. “‘M sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Shh,” Yuta soothes him. He strokes his thumb along the inside of Mark’s thigh. Unable to wait anymore, Yuta closes his lips around the head of Mark’s cock. 

It’s warm, wet, slippery. Mark tastes far less brackish than any other person Yuta’s ever done this to. Once again, Yuta finds it unfair that Mark is so superior in every aspect, even this.

As he starts to bob his head shallowly, letting Mark’s cock drag over his tongue, Yuta can already feel Mark straining to be still beneath him. He wants to tell Mark that he doesn’t have to hold back, that he can fuck Yuta’s mouth, but unfortunately, Yuta gags too easily. He’ll have to take this slow. He hopes Mark won’t mind. Polite as Mark is, Yuta doesn’t think he will.

Slowly, Yuta takes more and more of Mark into his mouth. He loves this, loves how much of Mark he can touch and smell and taste. He lets go of the base of Mark’s cock and lets his mouth do all the work of holding it up. He’s about halfway down now. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to get much further. 

With one hand now free, Yuta teases Mark’s sac. He rolls it between his fingers, feeling how heavy and tight his balls have become. He wants to make Mark come. The thought of it happening, the image of how Mark would look at sound as he found release made Yuta hum in anticipation. The vibrations around Mark’s cock leave him breathless. He makes a sound like he’s choking, and Yuta almost stops to check on him, but then Mark fists Yuta’s hair none too gently and Yuta _moans_. 

He adores Mark like this. Sweet, shy little Mark. The boy who apologizes to a doorframe if he stubs his toe on it, now taking what he wants from Yuta. Yuta wants to give him everything. It doesn’t even feel like he’s giving, it feels like he’s receiving. 

He listens to the litany of curses and blasphemes fall from Mark’s mouth. “Oh my fucking God,” Mark moans in English. “Oh my _fucking God. Jesus Christ. Good fucking God_.” 

Yuta remembers a time Mark hated cursing. When he was younger and would get upset if Johnny ever said what Mark called _the f-word_. Now here he is, twenty-something and lost in pleasure, the curses from his mouth like the water of a waterfall rushing over the edge.

“Yuta, Yuta, hyung, _ahhh_!”

Yuta doesn’t let up. If anything, he quickens the bobbing of his head. Both his hands dig into the flesh of Mark’s thighs, particularly the inner sides, where he’s smooth and sensitive to an extreme. Mark’s cock feels so good in his mouth. Heavy and impossibly hard. Yuta manages to get almost all the way down, his nose almost brushing the coarse, untrimmed thatch of black hair growing all around Mark’s cock. If this was literally anyone other than Mark, Yuta might mind all the hair. Instead, it just turns Yuta on more. He really is insane for this boy. 

“C-coming, Yuta. Ah, Yuta, I’m going to come. Mmh!”

Yuta only hums more around Mark’s cock. Then he increases the suction in his mouth, making sure to lap his tongue over Mark’s slit at the crest of every movement. He tastes salty precum. He barely registers the taste, instead entirely focused on getting Mark to come. 

He feels Mark tensing, relaxing and tensing again beneath him. His hips stutter. His thighs twitch. It’s all happening in turn, faster and faster, then altogether. With a loud cry, Mark comes. Yuta pulls back, keeping his mouth around the head, so he has room to catch Mark’s release. He sucks and sucks, patiently taking in all of Mark’s release. He keeps coming, and Yuta keeps swallowing. Mark vocalizes a lengthy groan, punctuated by gasping attempts to draw breath. Yuta loves that noise. He really fucking loves it.

Yuta sucks him dry. He licks until there’s nothing left, until Mark is squirming because he’s just on the right side of feeling overstimulated. Only when he’s whining from sensitivity does Yuta finally pull off. 

Mark’s eyes are barely open. He’s still regaining his breath. He’s unbelievably pretty this way. Yuta can’t believe this is real. He can’t believe there was nothing to be scared of.

Mark opens his arms and Yuta smiles. He settles back down in the bed. 

“Good?” he asks. He knows the answer. 

“Oppa, that wasn’t just good,” Mark says. His voice is incredibly hoarse. It’s sexy as fuck. “That was…that was incredible. Hmm,” Mark hums with satisfaction. He wraps his arms around Yuta and pulls him into his chest. It’s almost too warm, but Yuta doesn’t mind getting sweaty. “That was like, the best thing I’ve ever experienced. God. I can’t believe you…” Mark pauses, and then, very audibly, swallows.

Yuta laughs. “Yeah, I can’t believe I did that either.” He strokes a hand through Mark’s hair. It’s damp with sweat. They’re both a little gross at this point. It doesn’t matter. They’ll shower. For now, this is perfect. “I just like you so much, I guess.”

“You guess?” Mark’s tone is teasing, cheeky.

“Yeah. I guess.”

Mark kisses him. It’s a surprise. Yuta hadn’t expected that Mark would want to kiss the mouth that was just on his dick. But he should know by now; Mark Lee will always surprise him.

“Well I _know_ ,” Mark says. He’s smiling now. His eyes are fully open, and they’re bright and round and full of affection. “I know I like you a whole lot. And hyung likes me too. So that’s…um. That’s good.”

Yuta’s heart swells. He likes this—where they’re at. They like each other. There’s no need to rush forward with labels or worries about reactions. For now, for this morning, they have the affection between them. They have the attraction and the trust. And it will go somewhere, in time. It doesn’t have to be now. But one thing is for certain: Yuta will not let this boy go. He will do whatever Mark wants, whether that’s keeping everything casual for some time, or whether it’s marrying him tomorrow. And although the latter unlikely, Yuta realizes he’s serious. 

He smiles, and wraps an arm around Mark’s shoulders, burying his hand in Mark’s hair and pressing their foreheads together.

“Yeah Mark. It’s really good.”

**Author's Note:**

> whew! thanks for reading :D hope you enjoyed ♥♥♥ stay safe everyone.


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